Billboard Chart Sonnets: Early 90s Edition!

Updated: Feb 6

by C. Van Dyke

Note from Brioche and The Satyr Herd:

A huge thanks to C. Van Dyke, who not only contributed these fantastic and creative sonnets, but also donated his entire contribution fee to the Nina Pop Mental Health Recovery Fund by The Okra Project, a collective supporting and providing resources to Black trans people. The site is linked if you're interested in donating!

I, uh, don't know how copyright works in terms of including the original lyrics, but for now we'll include it unless we find out it's a big no-no. We're still a newish website, so we live and we learn.

Without further ado, we bring you: Billboard Chart Sonnets: Early 90s Edition!



Oh, gaze into the twin orbs of mine eyes,

And there find writ, as if on parchment,

The wide, encompassed measure of the size

Of the esteem my love for thee has sent.

Like a spiritual Magellan, set sail

Into thy heart; quest deep into thy soul,

As if Galahad in search of the grail.

Thy search shall end when you find me in full.

Speak not to me of the futility

Of the labor, that the cost is too great;

I will give no succor to speech from thee

That claims the price of death it does not rate.

Thou must concede this precept to be true:

That ev’ry act of mine is done for you.


Look into my eyes – you will see

What you mean to me

Search your heart, search your soul

And when you find me there, you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for

You know it's true:

Everything I do, I do it for you


I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU (Whitney Houston, 1993)

Should I choose to remain, fixèd beside thee,

I would but become an impediment.

Thus shall I depart, but know that with me

Shall travel memories of time we spent.

Until the very end of time is gone

My love shall burn eternal in my breast -

Through all tomorrows, through all the anons

My love for thee shall never know of rest.

Though memories be writ with bit’rest gall

Still thoughts of thee also be honey-sweet.

Farewell! Forbid thy saline tears to fall

We both know that for thee I am not meet.

Yet nathless, I shall love thee for all time.

Forever and again my love be thine.


If I should stay, I would only be in your way

So I'll go, but I know

I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you

I will always love you

You, my darling you, hm

Bittersweet memories

That is all I'm taking with me

So, goodbye

Please, don't cry

We both know I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you

I will always love you

About C. Van Dyke

Chris Vandyke was born in 1979 and spent the first 16 years of his life in the small coastal town of Gold Beach, Oregon. Since 2002 has been a High School English Teacher in the New York City Public School System, which is, needless to say, somewhat different than his hometown. He lives in Brooklyn with his partner, two children, and a menagerie of animals.

Chris's current project is an upcoming weird-fiction anthology. Learn more at, and you can find more of his work at his website here!

Follow him on Twitter @aboutrunning.

#music #humor #shakespeare #sonnet


The Angry Noodle

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